You Know You're Greek When....

I've been complaining a lot lately, so I'm posting something funny to lighten the mood. I think this quiz targets male immigrants mostly, but I'll give it a try anyway.

You Know You're Greek When....

You have a cousin called Jim. Actually I don't. You say "sick" every thirty seconds You don't want to know what I'm saying when I'm programming. I can be very creative. Btw I believe the word you're looking for isn't "sick", but let's keep this blog clean There are no such things as a girl - there's only "chicks" No comment, from this chick You wear or at least own a gold chunky bracelet. I own, I don't wear anything gold Garlic is considered a main meal. What? You mean it isn't? Olive oil is like a drug - you can't survive without it. Oh, but a tasty drug You don't know half your relatives. The problems begin with second degree relatives ... You have a wedding at least twice a year. That I do An uncle's wife's third cousin relates you to a friend. Hmm haven't really looked into it You or at least most of your uncles own a spit. ???? You wear sunglasses at night and consider it normal. You don't want to scare the kids with the dark circles under your eyes, now do you? There is no five o'clock shadow - it's a five o'clock beard. One of those guys facts You consider soccer the eighth wonder of the world. No, I consider athletics, but football is the ninth, after Euro 2004 Your cheeks receive their weekly work out every time you visit an aunt. Yup, they're never going to get to their normal size You have a shrine dedicated to Diego Maradona No, I was a Pele girl Your last name ends with: s, opolous, os, as, or is It ends with i, female gender and all Your last name consists of the entire alphabet. No, I missed a couple of letters You have a relation called Maria, Mario or Michael, Con, George or Bill. Yes! How did you know it? You tell your parents you're seeing someone and they start sending out wedding invitations. Exactly why you don't tell your parents You're home an hour late and you're already listed as a missing person. Not ever since they bought me my first mobile Your Dad has those old Greek tapes in the car, and plays them on family drives. Especially in the vicinity of attractive members of the opposite sex. We don't have a car. Phew You break a leg, and your grandmother thinks your life is over. You tell your parents you're having a party. They buy out the whole supermarket. They buy the whole supermarket anyway It doesn't matter if people can't hear what you're talking about - you talk so much with your hands that people know what you're on about anyway. I'm thinking of taking sign language courses You go to a wedding, and take a fancy to one of the guests. Later you discover that the guest is somehow related to you. No comment You go to a wedding, and are introduced to cousins that you never knew existed. Cousins, nephews, nieces, aunts and uncles As far as you're concerned, there's only one sporting goods company - Adidas That's so 80s. Now we prefer Nike You tell your mother you're not hungry and she thinks you have an eating disorder. Oh, the food fights, I remember them well You can distinguish between kefalotiri and kefalograviera. Of course I can. But my favorite is graviera and before you ask there is a difference between graviera and kefalograviera You're an adult and are forced to be with your family at 12 midnight on New Year's eve Yep, another family celebration Upon meeting another Greek, one of your first questions is, "What church do you go to?" Your grandmother / mother / aunt has a miracle cure for everything. My grandmother has If you're a girl, your mother still tries to put those pony tail holders with the BIG plastic balls on the end on your hair. Not anymore :) If you're a guy, your mother still tries to make you wear that super frilly dress shirt with that huge bow tie, because it looked so cute when you were 7. You can name any or all of the gods on Mount Olympus Heh, I was a mythology geek Your mother or father still feels the need to tell you, "katse kala" in public And they don't stop at that You have ever been hit with a pandofla You can dance kalamatiano, tsiamiko, zebetiko without music And Cretan dances too You go to church picnics pretending you're there for reasons other than to check up / gossip about other Greeks Those immigrant questions. They have church picnics? You or a family member has been photographed with a donkey With my grandmother's donkey You are familiar with the phrase, "Sto leo yia to kalo sou" All too well You have one or more of those porcelain figurines in your house Not yet, this is a student's house You have ever broken one of those porcelain figurines and your mother still hasn't forgiven you for it No, she has forgiven me , it was an ugly thing Your parents make up the name of a street / store / TV show because they couldn't remember it or they couldn't pronounce it All the time You still get scared when you hear the name "Baboola" No, I was a brave little girl Upon meeting another Greek you try to find out what village they're from What else am I supposed to ask first? You or a family member wears their Sunday best to go to the laundromat or grocery shopping No You were spanked by your friend's parents because your parents gave them permission to No, what kind of people do you think we are? You go to a wedding or a baptism and complain about the food, but are the first one to ask for a "to go" plate I've never complained about the food You know someone who always feels the need to point out how much something they bought costs Don't we all? You have a bottle of OUZO in your house right now As a matter of fact I do and I didn't know it. Now who bought it and more importantly who drunk it? It's almost empty... You have ever been threatened to be eaten by the mavro / baboola / yero / pontiki when you were little I have, but I never believed them Someone in your family owns any type of restaurant Yes... Your family inheritance includes olive trees Of course Your entire house is a needlepoint warehouse ??? You're proud to be Greek - and you pass these jokes on to all your Greek friends! I don't spam!

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